It has been a lot of ups and downs the last couple of weeks. From what I am posting it might seem that I got my shit figured out most of the times - and most of the times I do. But then there are those moments when I get an anxiety attack when my jeans feels tighter than they used to or when I have to change my plans drastically based on outer circumstances. Seeing a psychiatrist is the best thing anyone can do for their mental health in the long run - in the short run however it can be both challenging and absolutely dreadful. I am going to write more about that topic in another post but today I wanna share this with you: I have an extreme fear for the unknown. This fear have led me to trying to make a lot of things controllable. With a history of eating disorders my body have always been an easy target. I want to make something clear though: for the last couple of years I have truly tried my best to take care of my body. My need of control have therefore not led me to intentionally starve myself or punish myself with workouts. Rather I’ve tried my best to balance my anxieties need and my bodies needs for the best of my ability - and that shit is hard. Today I’m at a place where I slowly but surely wanna challenge my fear and letting go of that god damn control - which makes dealing with my anxiety so so much harder. But I am trying. I truly am. The morning I took this picture I told myself that I was beautiful regardless of how my body decides to change right now. And I felt it. I might have cried a few hours later due to the same changes - but I’ll just hold on to that morning moment and trust that those moments will become more and more and sooner or later become my reality. Thank you for reading (this somewhat messy post) all the way ❤️ I truly appreciate it.
#bodypositivity #selflove #selfcare #balance #bodypositive #mentalhealth #yougotthis #vegan #selfrespect #anxiety #livingwithanxiety #selfacceptance #womenempowerment #veganathlete #realbodies #realstagram #embraceyouself #bodypositivemovement #makeyourselfproud #stomachrolls #normaizenormalbodies #honeylovesorg @honeylovesorg
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